Almost everyone I know has a friend that they met in elementary school. It might be their best friend or it might simply just be an old friend they get together with every once in while. They see each other and they just pick up where they left off. When a child has a craniofacial difference and a trach it's extremely hard to make friends. During the first meet and greets the other kiddos are more interested in asking why s/he looks the way they do and what's on their neck. Ethan will not tell new kiddos why or what...he gets defensive and usually turns away. If he says anything he'll shout "NOTHING!" I believe this is his response to the usual "What's wrong with you"-this is the first thing asked by kiddos and even some adults 99% of the time. Well Ethan is right to shout NOTHING, there is nothing WRONG with him. He is simply just different...
The more I processed what happened during the IEP meeting the sicker to my stomach I'd feel. I couldn't believe that the very people who work to support their said "Vision" would be doing this to my son!? To be exact their "Vision" is this; "Working together to ensure each student becomes a successful and productive citizen in a diverse society." Great vision, but the way I see it, that's a bunch of bullsh!t!! How can children within this school district learn diversity? Seriously, how can they learn about ALL the differences within our society if they are segregating the very children with differences?!!!???!?
Don't get me wrong every one of these elementary schools we have been with have had a great team of staff members, excluding the 'district folks'. Teachers and staff that I have become very familiar with over the years. In fact I enjoyed listening to what the principal for Marshall had to say during the IEP meeting. She seems very passionate about what she does and about the students within her school. I was never against any one of these elementary schools. What I was against was my boys being shuffled around.
A point I stress every chance I get; If these moves keep happening the child involved might begin to think there is something "wrong" with them.... also an older or younger sibling being moved with that child might possibly resent the sibling or mom/dad over time because they always have to accommodate for their sibling. This might not happen right away but when they are younger they don't notice everything.....but they do start to recognize why change happens and they understand it a little more and more as they age. Think teenage years, you know when they start blaming everyone for everything:) Yeah. Oh joy. So I tried to stress to everyone that I didn't want Ethan to start wondering why it is always him that has to move...I didn't want him to question "Is there something wrong with me?" Also to be honest I really dislike explaining to my other kiddos when something is changing or has to be done a certain way because of Ethan...it's a vicious cycle sometimes. At one point while discussing things with our home care nurse Isaac stated that he did not want to change schools, he said he loves his friends and his teacher. I felt my heart crack. I made a promise that day, I promised Isaac that no matter what happens I will keep him where he is. He seemed to take this and be content, you see I still had not involved the kiddos in any of this. Ethan especially because he has a serious issue with change. I don't blame him, he has seen more in his life than most.
We waited, my family and I. We waited and my attorney kept us updated. There was nothing. They still hadn't called to say what the actual plan was. We waited a month and then sent the school district's attorney this letter...
